And now, what’s really on everyone’s mind. Reality TV! Reality TV! Reality TV!
It began with an observation by Divergent Poles. It was scientifically analyzed by both Yuga, and by The cAt (in her blog and in a comment that reveals her research), there is even a comparison of the Mainstream Media to the Blogosphere (with pie charts and other nifty things!). The conclusion? Showbiz trumps political blogs. O tempore! O mores! Oh, captain, my captain: Gin Capitan! Tanduay, the number one rhum. Drink Moderately. Tagay na, Pinoy Big Brother! Ah, yes. That’s the subject. Let’s unite stream-of-conciousness writing with the topic.
Let’s just put in random statements and key words. shall we? Pinoy Big Brother secrets exposed. Yes, Pinoy Big Brother secret pictures. Pinoy Big Brother cheese curls. Pinoy Big Brother Burger (actually, Pinoy Big Burger). Pinoy Big Brother Healthy & Beauty Tips. Pinoy Big Brother Sinigang for the Soul.
Pinoy Big Brother history and politics. Adios, Pinoy Big Brother adorada. Pagmamahal sa tinubuang Pinoy Big Brother. Little Brown Pinoy Big Big Brother. I prefer Big Brother run like hell by Filipinos to Big Brother run like heaven by Americans. Pinoy Big Brother shall return. Pinoy Big Brother can be great again. Pinoy Big Brother Pa Rin! Tama Na, Sobra Na, Pinoy Big Brother Na! Sa Pinoy Big Brother, walang kumpa-kumpare, walang kama-kamaganak, walang kaibi-kaibigan. Strong Pinoy Big Brother. Pinoy Big Brother Resign! Pinoy Big Brother Remain! Pinoy Big Brother Ready for Takeoff. Pinoy Big Brother, Make the Ultimate Sacrifice. Pinoy Big Brother: Because Color TV Doesn’t Come in Shades of Gray. Pinoy Big Brother ng Masa. Pinoy Big Brother ng Demokratikong Pilipino. Nationalist Pinoy Big Brother Coalition. Nacionalista Pinoy Big Brother. Liberal Pinoy Big Brother. Lakas-Christian & Muslim Pinoy Big Brother. Barangay Big Brother. Barrio of Pinoy Big Brother. Municipality of Pinoy Big Brother. Province of Pinoy Big Brother. Region of Pinoy Big Brother. Republic of the Pinoy Big Brother.
I hate Pinoy Big Brother! Oh wait. I love Pinoy Big Brother! Wait. I’ve never actually seen Pinoy Big Brother. So maybe, let’s just move on. Oh, brother! Or is it, Brother, Can You Spare A Dime? Mag Big Brother Tayo Tuwing Umaga, Tuwing Umaga...(Original song lyrics not enclosed. Some assembly required).
More gratuitous key words. Chris Aquino action photos. Chris Aquino videos. Chris Aquino secret love life romance orchids. Chris Aquino will not appear as a celebrity endorser of Pinoy Big Brother. But she and will appear on that next TV classic, Battle of the Billboards, hosted by Carlos Celdran (complete with Carlos reciting that famous Pinoy cultural monologue for fame and giggles: “What is dat? Is dat your peanut? Is beri, beri big! So big! Too big! Ang laki ng **** mo! Aruy… you pansit-eating mother hamper!”). And other cultural treasures (There was the original script for the Blair Witch Project, it was titled, Goldilocks and the Three Blairs.)
Again, I digress. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Pinoy Big Brother house was on the other side. How many does it take to screw in a lightbulb on Pinoy Big Brother? Answer: none, because that’s not the thing that needs screwing (hyuk, hyuk, hyuk, dirty, dirty! Blame it on that comic masterpiece, How Adsense pollutes the blogosphere: EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH SAM OF PINOY BIG BROTHER!)
Well, anyway, it’s time for the Revenge of the Nerds. I have the solution. It’s called, Pinoy Big Blogger. The latest thing on online reality TV. You don’t have to own a TV to watch Pinoy Big Blogger. You just… Well, have to own a computer… with an internet connection… and sufficient bandwidth… But hey. It’s free. Free internet reality TV. With Podcasts even. Hopefully. All you have to do is vote to pick the competing group of Pinoy Big Bloggers. Then you can, you know, say stuff, text stuff, post stuff, then vote them off the blogosphere or something.
(Per DTI Permit No. 3425 series of 2005.)
Anway, our light, refreshing, and fat-free links for Sunday relaxation and recharging:
It Could Be Worse Department: Thank God you don’t live in Turkmenistan?
It’s Round But Different Department: Love & Light on the differences among Japanese manholes.
Department of Music: Carlos Celdran’s is opening a nightclub! Well, art space. And he’s gaga for this band.
Birds and Bees Department: Speaking of gaga, Gigi (who goes gaga) writes on how a baby is made.
Pediatrics Department: Have you visited Mr. Nice Guy’s blog yet? I used to hate children until I read his blog.
Physical Education Department: Batjay points out merits and demerits to having a big tummy.
Library Science Department: Filipino Librarian proves Jollibee was founded in 1977, not 1978, and was spelled Jolibee.
Nutritional Science Department: Madame Chiang discovers what frozen pet food is made from!
Literature Department: remembering rebecca on literary classics via text message.
English Department: Leon Kilat has a problem with fashionable euphemisms in the UK.
Geography Department: Vaes9 has a rant about inaccurate maps.
Not for Conservative Christians or the Homophobic Department: A review of The Suck, including homoerotica in war movies, and Queer Theory with regards to war films in War Porn: Welcome to The Suck. (the blog isn’t work or child-friendly). Family-friendly reviews and other goodness can be found in Eating the Sun.