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Mar 01

Then & Now: Plagiarized from EMC

Plagiarized from EMC
by Manuel L. Quezon III

Addenda on the Exodus 11:7 issue. I’d like to quote (alas, without their permission; hopefully they won’t mind), two responses -and one reply, from me- I received through e-mail at The E-Mail Company. Readers might remember that I wrote something to the effect that, “I was talking to a friend whos’e scared of dogs and he told me that a whole bunch of people advised him to say ‘Exodus 11:7’ if he was suddenly menaced by a dog… Now he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to just say ‘Exodus 11:7’ or actually recite the verse in question. The funny thing is that according to him, a whole bunch of people gave him this advice. I looked up Exodus 11:7 and apparently it reads thus (I’m not too good at reading the bible so there’s a bit of verse 6 and 8 here too): ‘And throughout the land of Egypt there will be such a wailing as never was heard before, nor will be again. But against the sons of Israel, against man or beast, never a dog shall bark, so that you know Yahweh discriminates between Egypt and Israel.’
Has anyone heard of this belief? Is it a long-standng one, or part of the new Born-Again subculture or what?”
Here is what the irrepresible Rayvi Sunico wrote in reply:
“Not that I’m an expert or anything, but I think that once again, we have an example of the Filipino’s fascination with magical  objects and incantations (anting-anting, AFP IDs, privilege cards and stickers etc. ad nauseam )”

Then I received a note from Ige Ramos, whom I had had the good fortune of meeting during the launching of Chimera Ige wrote,
“About that dog business, in Cavite City the folks would intone the name of San Roque, and say a little prayer to him if a dog is in the act of attacking someone. The prayer goes like this: ‘Mahal naming poong San Roque, Ilayo mo po kami sa matatalas na  pangil ng inyong aso. Paamuhin mo po siya at ilayo mo po kami sa disgrasiya ‘ While you recite this prayer in your head, you have to bite your tounge at the same time. Thinking the dog is doing the same thing (biting its tounge and ‘ becoming maamo ‘ in  the process). Many people (including my mother) says this is a very effective prayer. I don’t subscribe to the idea. Try doing  that to a dobberman or to a german shepherd, let’s see what happens.

“Aside from saving someone from the dog’s fangs of death, San Roque is also the patron saint of dog-owners, people with gashed knees, pan de sal bakers (try and look for a San Roque image, the little mongrel usually has a pan de sal in its mouth), the people of towns all over the archipelago which are named San Roque and carinderias  that serves azucena. [A lady in] Meycauayan,  Bulacan who runs a carinderia which especializes in azucena, has a big statue of the saint in full tableau and full regalia to  welcome the customers. Its so surreal. [Their specialty is] caldereta. ‘ About that dog business, in Cavite City the folks would intone the name of San Roque, and say a little prayer to him if a dog is in the act of attacking someone. The prayer goes like this: “Mahal naming poong San Roque, Ilayo mo po kami sa matatalas na  pangil ng inyong aso. Paamuhin mo po siya at ilayo mo po kami sa disgrasiya” While you recite this prayer in your head, you have to bite your tounge at the same time. Thinking the dog is doing the same thing (biting its tounge and ‘nagiging maamo ‘ in  the process). Many people (including my mother) says this is a very effective prayer. I don’t subscribe to the idea. Try doing  that to a dobberman or to a german shepherd, let’s see what happens.

“Aside from saving someone from the dog’s fangs of death, San Roque is also the patron saint of dog-owners, people with gashed knees, pan de sal bakers (try and look for a San Roque image, the little mongrel usually has a pan de sal in its mouth), the people of towns all over the archipelago which are named San Roque and carinderias that serves azucena. My aunt in Meycauayan,  Bulacan who runs a carinderia which especializes in azucena, has a big statue of the saint in full tableau and full regalia to  welcome the customers. Its so surreal. But I like what they serve best, the caldereta. ‘Talagang nakakapag-painit ng katawan ‘ -best with gin and kalamansi and lots of rice.”
***
And here’s an interesting tid-bit from Didi Olaguer, the organizer at Juen Kiethley’s Center for Peace (she posted thsi message for evryone):
“A friend of mine was in a Ma Mon Luk branch somewhere in Manila a few nights ago, and noticed one item on the softdrinks menu: ‘Suicide’ priced at 9 pesos, just like the regular soft drinks. When she asked, know what the waiter said it was? ‘Pinaghalong mga iba’t-ibang softdrink.’
“Mga Tanong. Do you think— a) They open up new bottles of different softdrinks to make one ‘Suicide’?  or b) Pinaghalo ang mga TIRA ng iba’t-ibang softdrink??!!!@#$%&^!  Yum! Sarap!

***
And finally,  a message from “ELC” who’se e-mail address I’ll omit as this is was meant for all:
“Top ten things Forrest Gump would say if he was pilipino
10. My name is Porrest, Porrest Goomp.
9. My momma said that life is like a balikbayan box.
8. Lieutenant Dan!  Putang ina mo!
7. Lieutenant Dan! Gusto mo ba ang sorbetes?6.
6. Me and Jenny went together like champorado and isda.
5. Mr. President, iihi ako.  Na saan ang “comfort room?”
4. My best friend Bubba knew everything ther was to know about
bagoong.  “There’s bagoong with rice, bagoong with lemon juice,
fried bagoong, bagoong at puto, etc.etc…”
3. Those look like comfortable shoes.  Sa Payless ba?
2. He invested my money in a prrooot company.
1. Tanga is as tanga does.
***
And of course one of the nices things about being a subscriber to The E-Mail Company is getting too meet all sorts of people: Marvin Panganiban, Chris Velasco, Doll Disini (the UP mafia), Raymond Santos (lone Atenean), Paul Padilla (from EMC), and Mike from DLSU.  Cheers!

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